"His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me."

I love little symbols that remind you to smile. I still have my little sparrow figure (thanks Rachael) on my dresser to remind me everything will be okay.

This morning, there was a little sparrow outside my door. I think God knew I needed a pick me up. It worked.

7 Days in September

This is one of those movies that changes the way you look at the world. For the entire length of this documentary, I sat in bed with my hand over my mouth, unable to look away. Being a child during 9/11, I was shielded from the news, the sheer terror, and ...I'm having a hard time thinking of words right now... I guess just the truth of what had really happened. I understand why my parents, teachers, and friends felt the need to do this. At the age of 10, I don't think I could have handled knowing the truth or seeing the footage. But now, at 21, I felt it was time to face what really happened. I feel like my generation has been done a disservice by not seeing what really happened. I don't feel like my classmates and friends really understand what happened or what it meant to New Yorkers or the American people as a whole. Seeing this documentary really opened my eyes to the truth. It was a raw first-hand account of the events surrounding the Tri-State area. Through the lenses of the filmmakers, I witnessed things I never hope to see again. I had to keep reminding myself that it was real, not a horror movie. This really happened. People really died like this. The accounts of the children were probably the most stirring. Kids, younger than I was at the time, understood exactly what happened. They were fearful but not defeated. They knew what they had to do to keep moving forward and help. While I was being told the Towers didn't actually get hit (yes, that's what my GIFTED teacher at the time thought was best to tell us), these kids were rallying together and giving back. It's emotional and it's scary. I'm probably going to have to sit here alone for the next few minutes to gather my composure and my thoughts before I can move on.

I know it's not something people like to do, watch movies that make them think, cry, or relive painful memories, but sometimes it's necessary. If you have a Netflix account, I highly recommend searching for this documentary and watching every minute of it. It gets hard at times, but don't look away. Take the time to think about what it all meant and what it all still means. It will make you a better person in the end.

Near Death Experience

Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration. It wasn't near-death, but definitely near-severe-injury.
Yesterday started out like any other day. I went to class, hung out at Landon's for a little bit, went to the library with Dana to do our science project, and then grabbed dinner with the boys and a few of their friends.

Our scary experience occurred on the way back from dinner. We were turning right into the neighborhood when an SUV decided to make a left out of the complex.
(Here's a little explanation in case you don't know anything about my location. My complex has one lane to enter and two to exit (one turning left and one turning right). Our entrance/exit lies on a 6 lane divided highway, so to make a left, you have to cross 3 lanes and then sit in the median until you can cross over the next lane. I'm scared to death to make a left so I always turn right and wait for a light to make a u-turn.)

Anyway, this SUV decided to cross over traffic because he saw our blinker. Little did he know, there was another car in the lane next to us who was driving southbound. The SUV saw the car a little too late and was not able to speed up or slow down enough to prevent the crash. He T-boned the car and they both went flying. The car ended up a lane over facing the wrong way and the SUV spun until he was in the entrance lane. Michael and I witnessed the entire thing happen. We pulled in, parked in the first spot we found, and ran to the scene to make sure everyone was okay. We ended up waiting 3 hours for FHP to come (apparently OCPD doesn't deal with traffic incidents) in order to give our statement. We might even have to go to court to be witnesses since Florida is a no-fault state. How exciting! (And by that I mean I really hope I don't have to miss school or work for this.) The entire time we were waiting for FHP, we couldn't shake how close this crash was to us. If we had entered a second or two later, the spin-off would have collided into us and probably sent us into traffic or into the brick wall. I sent God a little thank-you when we were running to the scene. I also thanked Him again for the amazing friends I've acquired. The wait was made a lot more enjoyable when Joe and Dana came down to keep us company despite the fact that Joe was supposed to leave for home and Dana has massive amounts of homework to finish. I don't know what I would do without them.

This whole experience has reminded me how precious life is and how important it is to take your time when you're driving. Nothing is worth more than your life.

A (Much Needed) Life Update

It's been quite a while since I last updated my blog. I was just going to leave it alone and move on, but there are too many exciting things happening in my life to not share. God has been doing amazing things in my life recently. Just today, I got accepted into the UCF College of Education internship program. Starting in January, I'll be interning in an elementary school classroom twice a week. I'm both excited and nervous for this opportunity. It's hard to believe that this is my fourth year in college. In just one more year, I'll be graduated and starting to mold the minds of future America. I pray every day that God will give me the wisdom and guidance to know what to do and how to approach the obstacles I know will be thrown in my way. I love teaching and children, but it's daunting to think I'll soon be in my own classroom. I just have to trust in Him and know He won't let me fail if it's meant to be.

The new school year has also started some great new relationships and ended some not-so-great ones in my life. I finally listened to what God and my family was telling me and ended my relationship with Matt. It was hard, but after a lot of prayer I realized it was the right thing to do. We are and always have been on different life paths with different beliefs and it was better to end it now than to prolong something that would not have worked out. I thank God for giving me the strength to end it and for helping me find happiness again. Speaking of happiness, I've started a few new great friendships. My neighbors are a group of awesome guys who have been better friends than I could have ever asked for. They're all so protective and kind and are always there when I need to talk or vent or just let off some stress. It's great just being able to step out my door and be at their place. The boys and their friends have helped me get out of the apartment more than I did all last year. They're all great and I can't thank them enough for their friendship (and shoulders to cry on when I need them).

My living situation this year is also fantastic. I moved in with two of my best friends and our "random" roommate is terrific. She's quickly becoming one of my new best friends as well. She's always there to listen and give me much needed life advice. I can't really think of any complaints about her or my other roommates so far.

All in all, my year has been perfect so far. I can't thank God enough for everything that has happened (both good and bad) because without all of it, I wouldn't be smiling every day.