Living the College Life

So, I'm all moved in. My stuff has been put in its proper place and now I just have to wait a little while longer for a dorm floor meeting. Being here is pretty amazing. People are really friendly and will come up and talk to you like they've known you forever. My room is getting some character and my roommate is really nice. We have our own bathroom which is pretty much the best thing ever! (But in order to make our room work, our fridge is in that bathroom) Last night we went out to eat at a local Italian place and I met my soulmate. He is sooo perfect. Too bad I'll probably never see him again because he already graduated. I'm sure I'll meet plenty of nice people here. Especially at Good News. :)

*The next day*

Well, after that post we went to our floor meeting. Our RA's discussed campus rules and how to do maintenance requests. My favorite part was when this one girl found out that we can't put nails in the walls. She raised her hand and said "Soo let's just say that I accidentally put some nails in my wall and set my room around those nails... What would I do?" After the meeting we went down to the dining hall for a game night. I don't really know how to gamble so B and I just walked around waiting for someone to talk to us. Eventually these two really nice girls M&M came and we talked until the game night ended. They are really nice and we all seem to have a lot in common. Game night ended around 1030 and we headed back up to our dorm. (Which is a big icebox since we're right next to the a/c) I slept okay, but I didn't actually fall asleep until 2-ish. I had a billion thoughts running through my head and then my phone started going off because JP was texting me to ask how my day was. Once he went to bed, I fell asleep. Now we're up bright and early so we can head to breakfast, and then get our campus credit cards. After that we just have to hang out until 1. It's move in day for the returning students so we'll probably use some of our time scoping out the scene. And by scene, I mean people.

Pin Removal

I woke up earlier than usual this morning to go to Dr. R's and get the pins and stitches removed from my finger, so I thought I'd take the time to explain the process to those who are interested.

WARNING: Do not read if you are squeamish. I do not know how gross this will get and will not be held responsible for any fainting, puking, pale skin, etc.

Anyway, I got to the office a little early and was called back immediately. One of the nurses showed me my exam room so I could put my bag down and then took me to the x-ray room. She took three x-rays of my hand (still in the ace bandage) and then led me back to my exam area. I could hear Dr R say, "Okay, looks good. Pin removal it is." I waited for a few minutes, and then my nurse came back in. She started pulling various instruments and gauze out of the cupboard. Small scissors, benadine, a pair of scissors with one flat side, and a pair of medical pliers. Two things scared me about these medical instruments, one- the lack of any sort of syringe filled with numbing medicine and two- the white towel she then pulled out and put in my lap. I looked quizzical so she said "Just to protect your clothes." My first thought was "WTF? Am I going to be a geyser or something?!"

Before I had too much time to worry Dr R was back in the room. He asked if I had ever had a tooth pulled and I said yes (all four wisdom teeth and a couple troublesome baby teeth). He then told me a BIG lie. "Oh, well this isn't as bad as that." HA! Yeah right. He grabbed the pliers and took hold of the first pin. One small yank and it was out. "Hmm not so bad," I thought. I can do this again... Then he took hold of the second pin. YANK! Nothing. The pin didn't want to move. YOW! Did that one hurt. He tried again, pulled harder, and the pin came out. Then his nurse took out the two stitches. A couple more x-rays and I was done. I got a prescription for occupational therapy in case I need some help moving my finger again.

So basically, I'm all healed. I already got to drive again and am typing with TWO hand for the first time in almost three weeks. It's nice to be able to move my wrist again and lie my hand flat.

Once Lando Calrissian (as we call my little brother) gets home from his dentist appointment, we are going to the University to meet up with Lease. I can't wait to see her and cause some trouble up at the college. They'll be glad to only have one Barimo in their school once we're done.

Song lyrics

On my facebook I have a bumper sticker that says "Song lyrics say the words that we cannot." I thought I understood what that meant until last night when I saw shuffling through my iTunes. You see, my iTunes account has some sort of mind reading device on it that can tell what mood I'm in or what will make me smile. Or simply what I am in desperate need of at that exact moment. As I'm writing this, I have several of the songs from last night playing through my head.... Scratch that, I just went and made a playlist of them.... But anyways, some of the best songs on that list are B.L.G.- Thunder, Taylor Swift- Y.B.W.M., Jack Johnson- Sitting, Waiting, Wishing, and a little sprinkling of Sherwood. Right now, I wish I could walk outside and scream select verses from those songs, but I won't. I'll just keep singing them in my room acting like I don't have a reason to sing each.

What would I do without music? How would I express myself without it? I wish I had half the talent these bands do so I could go out and make millions on my mistakes.

Analyzing my Thoughts

I've been feeling super down lately and I have come to realize that I have caused my own downness. (let's just pretend that's a real word, okay?)

I honestly think that I tend to wait until it's too late to say/do things because I'm afraid of happiness. Being happy scares me because nothing lasts forever. Happiness will always end in despair. The only question is when this despair will come. I've been taking this fact of life and spinning it the wrong way. You see, if you live your life not opening up to people and trying to avoid happiness because of the despair it causes, you just end up sad all the time. If you go out and grab what you need to be happy, you get some good times. Sure the bad will come, but won't the good outweigh that?

I know it's a little too late for me to have figured that one out. I don't have a time machine, so I can't go back and fix the problem I have created for myself. I can't go back and, honestly, I'm not sure that I would if I did have such a machine. While the place I am now sucks and I can't say what I want to because it would be a total disaster, I know that it will end up working out eventually. Someday I'll get what I've always wanted, but I will not push what I want away anymore. Things don't just land in your lap, you have to fight. I'm willing to fight now.

Private College

It's Monday morning and I think it's safe to say that I'm one of the only Smallsvillian under 21 not to be in class today, or preparing for it tomorrow. Most people wouldn't complain about this fact, but I am. I have to admit, it's really boring here when you can't drive, and don't have anyone to hang out with. To stop this boredom, I'm headed up to the high school around 3 for their first Young Republicans meeting. I have to go support my fellow conservatives and the future President.

Later tonight, Mommy N, Auntie B, and I are going to N's house to do something I am embarrassed to admit I am excited for... Renting the JB movie on iControl and screaming like little 12 year old when our favorite hottie graces the screen.

As for frisbee, it was good. I got to say bye to everyone and watch Sod King get the revenge I was waiting for. I just wish I could have actually played. But oh well, only two more days until I can drive, move my finger, and prepare for ASL. My hand is going to look sooo gross, but as long as I can move it, I'm happy.

Now to go find something to keep my occupied until the YR meeting.

Nick and Norah.. again

Last night I went to Target with my familia. At the checkout counter my mom saw a copy of Nick and Norah on DVD and decided to get it for me. I was beyond ecstatic because I've been waiting for MONTHS for one of those jerks to burn it for me. Anyways, I spent my Friday night watching the movie and its special features. The book was definitely a zillion times better than the movie. I mean, the movie is worth watching, you just have to forget everything you learned in the book before you can enjoy it. Book Nick is more of my type of guy, Movie Nick folded too easily. But the important parts of the book still stayed intact. Salvatore, the song, the Chinese/Thai restaurant, and most importantly, the line "Maybe we are the pieces." Nick and Norah will always have a special place in my heart.

Well this coming week is going to be VERY busy. It's my last week home before I move into my dorm. I can't believe this is really happening. Here's the breakdown of the week.

Today (Sat.) - Dinner w/ family, Grease at the Playhouse
Tomorrow- maybe church, get picked up for frisbee, and then depending on who takes me, dinner
Monday- packing, young republicans meeting (gotta go support Pres. C)
Tuesday- packing, JB night w/ Nic?
Wednesday- more packing, go to the U for dinner with the other E. Barimo
Thursday- wake up early, pick up X from his casa, bring him back here for one last hangout, drive him to school, visit teachers, come home, do laundry, pack
Friday- Pack up van, do last minute things, leave for St A, meet roomie, have dinner etc.
Saturday - Move In


It's going to be one busy, sad, and hectic week...

Noah...

Noah has this thing where he can read my mind. And I don't mean that he can tell what I'm thinking when I'm next to him giving him a look, I mean he can tell that something is wrong when he's at his house and I'm at mine. That is one thing that kills me about him. The night that I posted my explosion, he started I.M.ing me and asking me what was wrong. He hadn't and still hasn't read the post though, because if he had, we would have been having another argument. But no, his messages were more like "what's wrong with you", "care to talk about it", "I want you to be happy", and the killer "I love you, now tell me". So I made up some crap that wasn't entirely true, but not entirely false about college and friends and how I feel forgotten. Noah then goes into full time sweet mode and tells me that he'll never forget me and we'll always be best friends. And then has to go to bed, but not before telling me to keep typing and send it in a message, because he wants to be there to listen to me and help me feel better. But I, of course, care too much about him to tell him what's really bugging me, so I just go to bed too. The next morning he sends me some texts telling me to be happy and smile. BAM immediate frown on my face. Maybe one day, he'll get it.

To add to my sadness, today my last best friend leaves for college. After she's gone, I am officially alone. Everyone else is at school or work. So I'm procrastinating going over to her house to say goodbye because I don't want to believe that she's going. This can't be happening. :(

Don't Wish, Don't Start

Wishing only wounds the heart...

Lately I've found myself caught in a whirlwind of change, some of it is necessary, but some I could have stopped. My friends have all left for college now. They're moving into their dorm rooms, getting ready for class, and meeting new people while I'm stuck here because of stupid private college schedule. I know it's ridiculous to be sad about this since I will be doing the same things in a little over a week, but I can't help but feel abandoned.

And speaking of abandonment and replacement, I've been feeling those lately too. I've tried to put on a happy face and prance around like I don't feel anything. I've taken the punches as they came because hey, we're like Noah and Allie. I tell you when you're being an arrogant s.o.b. and you tell me when I'm being a bipolar pain in the butt. The only thing missing in our little Notebook of a relationship is that you think of me simply as the "best friend you've ever had" nothing more. And I highly doubt you're reading this, but if you are, I'm done pretending. I realize that it's too late for that now, but I'm done faking a smile when you tell me about them. I refuse to be happy for you if I can't at least have a shot at being happy with you. I know it's crazy and it never would have worked, but all I wanted was a chance and it took me way to long to figure that out. And if you really are reading this, you know I'm talking about you. Wrap your arrogant brain around that fact and do something to fix this. I don't know what, but do something fast. Please

I'm sorry guys, but I had to get that out before I exploded and caused some serious damage to me or someone around me.

Two weeks

It seems wrong that I will be on my way to Flagler in two short weeks. I feel like summer has just begun even though all of my high school friends have already started class. Throughout the summer I've been going back and forth between wanting and not wanting to go to school. At the present moment I do not want to. I know that when I get up there, am moved in, and start classes I'm not going to remember what held me back. I'm definitely going to miss all of my friends, especially the ones that are still at THS. It's going to be weird not seeing them all the time. Why did I wait til my last summer to get attached to certain people? I'm full of regrets...

FINGER NEWS- Surgery went well. For some reason Dr R had to put stitches in my pinky and the procedure took longer than expected but he swears that it worked. I have no idea what it looks like underneath this mound of packing and ace bandage. My arm aches constantly because there is no comfortable way to hold it. Not being able to move my ring and pinky fingers is a weird thing, I get a little paranoid when I tell my pinky to move and happens, but I have faith in Dr R and know that everything will be fine once it gets unwrapped on the 26th. Until then I'm a lefty.

Getting ready

I'm leaving for the hospital in just one short hour. The clothes I'm wearing are all set out (a Beckham shirt and pants made by a sponsor of his of course) and my pillows and blankets have been moved to my moms room. I can't help by feel stupid being worried about this minor procedure. Every time I start to think about it I remember my little superman Sam. He's been to the hospital more times in the past year than any 3 year old should. His procedures are always more risky than mine is going to be, but he just keeps on trekking. He'll always be my rock and my reminder that God works in mysterious ways, but He definitely will never give me anything I can't handle. So if I start to complain about only being able to use one hand I am going to remind myself that Sam had only one usable hand for quite a while. And I mean he only had one hand, no legs either. He was a trooper and he definitely kept his faith in God. So I can't complain about this. I'm going to be channeling his strength when I go in. Seems funny.... an 18 year old girl channeling the strength of a now 4 year old boy. But he'll be there with me.

Pinkies

I figured I should write a new update while I can still type with two hands... I learned five days ago that Ultimate Frisbee can be a very dangerous sport. Somehow or another I hit my pinky and figured that I simply fractured it. Well today I had an appointment with the orthopedic who is also a great family friend. Dr R took xrays and decided that it would be best if I had surgery. So trusting his years of experience, wisdom, and faith I am headed up to the hospital tomorrow morning at 830. Dr R is going to put a pin through the skin and connect the chipped bone back together. And two weeks later, he'll take it back out. I should be all healed up before heading off to college. Just pray that everything goes well. I'll try my hardest to learn to type with one hand and post pictures later.