A Year in Review

Merry Christmas Eve my friends. I can hardly believe that it's already the day before Christmas. This year has flown by so fast. I've already been writing for almost a year and at times, I have to go back and read old posts to remember what happened when. And with that, I shall review my year.

When I look back to the person I was in January it's frightening. Not because I was a bad person or anything, but because I have changed so much since then. I'm not really sure if I like the past me or the present me better... I think it's a combination of both. I like the spirituality I had back then. I was undying in love with Christ and knew exactly what I believed. Now, I find it hard to find a church I belong in. Present me is more cautious. I know pain, emotional and physical, and I know that I need to do the best I can to avoid either type. It takes me longer to trust because I've been lied to. It takes me longer to open up because I've been backstabbed. Overall, I think this year has taught me a lot. I experienced the things a typical teenager experiences. Except they usually space them out over four years, and I decided to get them all done over one. What are those experiences you ask? Well here's what I experienced over 2009. (A condensed list of course)

I... cried, laughed, broke up, broke down, went to my first prom, was rebellious, had my first kiss, fell victim to a player, got revenge, got in trouble because of a stupid boy, lost a best friend, gained some new best friends, graduated high school, left home, pulled an all-nighter, got depressed, found my true friends, met new people, had surgery, was scarred, loved and lost.

While I wrote that list, I think I finally realized that those things are over with now and I need to move on. I was talking to Max last night and he randomly asked me "What do you want? What do you think would make you truly happy?" And it took me a while to come to a conclusion. I ended up realizing that that I want to know where my life will take me, I want to be married and have kids and be content. But in order to get to that point, I need to make peace. Max said that I didn't need to tell him what I want, he just wants me to know so that he can help me get there. But I told him anyway. And I'm glad I did.

Anyway, that's my year in review.
I'm hoping for a happier, less stressful 2010.