Overcoming Insecurities and the Person Helping Me Do It

Everyone has insecurities. Some people think they're too tall, others feel too short, some don't like the way their teeth are aligned, and others try to change their voice.

My insecurity is easily hidden most of the year but living in Florida, one season is hard to escape. Summer. I dread the heat flashes almost as much as I dread the words "beach" and "bikini". I've never liked the way I look in a bathing suit. My childhood scoliosis has caused one hip bone to fall slightly higher than the other, pushing my weight a little off center. Most people wouldn't notice it, but I'm not most people. In the past, I've overcome my insecurity by hiding my sides under a tankini. This is me two summers ago.

As I've grown older, not wearing a bikini has made me stand out more than I would if I wore one, so I've avoided the beach and pool altogether. My plan to avoid water activities this summer was working perfectly until Matt came into my life. The other night, we randomly started talking about what makes us feel insecure and I mentioned not liking the pool. He laughed at first, but then realized I was being serious and told me he thinks I'm perfect and since he's my boyfriend, his opinion is the only one that should matter. Sweet, but untrue. Unable to convince me I'm fine the way I am, he decided to make a workout and meal plan for the fall. He vowed to push me until I'm content with myself, no matter how angry or frustrated I get. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stop helping me workout even if I threatened to break up with him. He's forcing me to take a look at myself and be happy with what I see. It's going to be a challenge and it could make or break our relationship, but he's just trying to show me that he cares and I might just be looking forward to the experience.