Wishing

As I sit on my bed, freshly clean and smelling like vanilla, I can't help but think about where I should be right now. I laugh when I catch myself wishing that I was on that big bus driving 13 hours to a remote mountain on the GA/TN border, but for the past five years around this exact time, that's what I have done. This year, on a whim, I decided not to go to Elevate, the youth group camp that I've gone to since the beginning of my days at Triple C. In a few short hours K. Katt, Chitty, J. Hadd, "C", Pike, B. Buck, R.Un., and all my fellow Triple C'ers will be meeting on top of the mountain for a fun filled week. They'll say hi to each other and act like they haven't been apart for a year. I wish I was going to the water park at 5 in the morning to play Swing Swing with Katt and "C", and then get smacked in the face by an ADD "C". Katt and I would laugh our heads off when we discover that "C" and "T" almost got kicked out for being stupid. And then we would head back up the mountain and I would sit down on my thinking rock, look over the edge of the mountain, and see all of Chattanooga. I long for that mountain all year long and it still amazes and confuses me that I didn't go when I had the chance.
With beauty like that sitting at my feet, it's impossible to be sad or confused when I sit on my rock.....



But back to the real world, where I am stuck for the time being. Last night there was a big storm and my power blew out. Luckily, Dragon had called me earlier that afternoon and asked me to spend the night, so I was saved from an unairconditioned home. Dragon, Lemon, and I went to Staples and Target like we do almost every time we're together. It's funny how immature the three of us get when we spend too much time apart and are then put back together. We went back to Dragon's and discussed everything from Literature to Geography to boys. I'm pretty sure Lemon was on crack or something because she couldn't stop laughing or making a weird comment every other second. After talking for a while, we realized how tired we were and we laid down in Dragon's bed and discussed baby names. I fell asleep halfway through that conversation and surprisingly, slept through the whole night.

Lately, my brain has been trying to process too much information and fix too many situations to slow down for 8 hours and let me actually sleep. But something about last night calmed me down. Most of the things I was worrying about were stupid and didn't really matter in the long run, so I guess I finally realized that and decided to quit thinking about them.


Well.... in an hour, I'm headed over to Joy's house to take her to P.C., a thrift store that buys your "gently used" clothes from you and lets you purchase their clothes. I hear that they have everything from Old Navy to Hollister to American Eagle and everything in between, so I'm super excited to find some good deals. After we shop, we're headed to Panera Bread. YUMMO.


Plans for tonight may include headed over to the O-town University for a little swing dancing. Supposedly you pay $5 a person and you get an hour long lesson and then you get to dance for three more hours.... The only problem- boys. You can't really go without one and I can't think of any boy that would be willing to go with me. So I'll probably do what I do every night, sit at home wishing someone would call me with something fun to do. :(


Anyways, sorry if this was a bit boring. I kinda treat this blog as my diary that other people get to read so I throw my emotions and random thoughts out there. Thanks for sticking with it.

Two in one day....

I guess I'm making up for my absence.

I'll say a little something about mud frisbee.

When we started playing frisbee, the weather looked grim, the rain was beginning to come down and the field we were on seemed to be getting smaller. After one frustratingly crowded game, Yellow decided that we should switch to the the larger field. Little did he know, but the other field was a little flooded. I watched as the people around me slipped and slid across the field to get the frisbee. Yellow took a spill and ended up soaked to the bone. Big man fell flat on his back multiple times, and I'm afraid that he really will become a quadriplegic. Clark Kent turned his white shorts brown. G.B. got his arms all muddy. It was quite a show. The best thing was... I actually got thrown the frisbee, and I caught it TWICE, and I successfully threw it back TWICE. All in all, it was an interesting experience. I probably need to shop-vac my car tomorrow seeing as the munchkins I had to take home got it all grassy. After the game, my feet looked like I had been attacked by the grass monster. I had to dip them in the pool just to get them slightly clean. But it was well worth it.....

Plans for the rest of the week/weekend...
Thursday- Babysitting KAS while her momma gets an ultrasound. Then I might swim.
Friday- Thrifting with Joy
Saturday- Breakfast with Loverface, Baby shower for Baker, Get the carseats for Cart and Droodle.
Sunday- Maybe go see the grandparents and HOPEFULLY get back for frisbee.

Magic 8 Ball

Right now I wish I had my hands on a real magical 8 ball. One that knew what was to come and contained phrases such as "Go for it" "Don't be an idiot" and "DUH!". I would shake it and ask it a variety of questions that would make my life easier.

Why is it that when I try to fix a problem, it ends up getting worse? I try to do something kind and reach out and tell people how I feel and they just snap back and act like I caused the problem in the first place. I'm sick and tired of trying to please everyone. It gets me nowhere real fast. So, I've decided to make myself happy. Along the way, I'll do nice things for people, if they deserve it, and I'll make the people that really matter happy. But only because I know that they'll react the way I want them too.

I know that I sound like a heartless, selfish, B word. But I'm simply sick of sitting back and watching the things that I want fly past my ever hopeful arms. I'm not going to sit back anymore, I'm fighting for what I want and by golly, I'm going to get it!..... I hope.

Life.... and death

Lately, everything I do seems to remind me of Evan. As I went to prom, walked across the stage at graduation, and now, as I'm packing up stuff to bring to college. I'm constantly reminded that everything I do, he didn't get the chance to. I live my life everyday for him. I know that each breath I take is one more than he ever got to. Everything I've done since my 16th birthday was more than he got. And it really doesn't seem fair. Evan was probably the nicest person I have ever met. I rarely got to see him, but when I did he didn't shoo me off like my others cousins did. He took my hand and included me. The last time I saw him, he taught me how to play pool. He didn't act like I was annoying him with my constant questions or requests for help. I still can't believe that he's gone.

Let me explain for those of you who don't know anything about the wonderful boy that was and is my cousin. Evan was came into the world on St. Patrick's Day 1988 and he left it on 1/5/05. Car accident in North Carolina. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt (which is why I ALWAYS wear mine) and he was ejected from the car. Evan, being a lovely and unselfish guy, was an organ donor, so his eyes still see the beauty of the world, his organs still work, just in someone else's body. His soul is gone, but being the amazing kid he was, I know where he is. Looking down on me, and my family, and his mom, dad, and brother.

Ugh, sorry for all the depression. I've just been thinking about him a lot lately and needed to get that out.

The (Almost) Perfect Day

Judging by the title of this post, I believe that anyone with half a brain could figure out that today went well. I actually went to bed at a decent hour (thanks to Moos constant nagging) and got about 9 hours of sleep. I woke up around 10:30 (would slept in later, but my iPhone feels the need to remind me five million times when I get a text.) *cough*don't text me for eleven*cough* After waking up and actually getting out of bed, I went to run some errands with my mom. Bank, Post Office, Kmart. We got Gracey and Joagster their birthday present. (I sure hope that they like it.) After Kmart, we drove through Wendy's and ate some delicious sandwiches.

Then my phone rang, and Dragon asked me if I wanted to go over to her house for a while with Lee and My son. I decided to head over there, and we sat on Dragon's bed and caught up. (We were definitely overdue for a long talk.) Suddenly, the four of us felt the urge to bake, so we went to Target and got some supplies. Our baking experience was rather interesting... Lee blew up the butter in the microwave, and then (while I was gone taking Tebow to the vet) Dragon and Lee thought it would be a good idea to make "shark week" cookies. What are shark week cookies you ask? Well let me explain... They dyed the batter blue to signify water, and cut up bits of gummy bears to show dead bodies. Seemed like a good idea right? Wrong! Apparently, gummy bears + heat = huge mess. Don't ever do it.

After baking, we went into the computer room to talk some more. Dragon got mad because my phone kept telling me I had a text, so she took it and began to read. My forgetful mind forgot that I had told C.K. how much of a baking idiot she was, so when Dragon read that, she got a little angry and made me chase her around the house to get my phone back. Then we sat around of the couch laughing our heads off until it was time to go home.

I knew that dinner would be AMAZING when I could smell the salmon grilling as soon as I stepped out of the car. And boy was I right, that fish was sooooo good. Now, I'm full and waiting to see if a sleepover is in my future. A sleepover would take that (almost) right out of the title of this post. :D

Summer days are my favorite.

I spent the first 20 minutes of my day in the shower praying. I prayed for the healing of Jake after his accident yesterday, thanked Jesus for giving Sam legs (he got accepted to some Shriner's Hospital thing that's going to provide him with prosthetics.), and asked for guidance in my life. After my shower, I told my parents about Jake and they went to visit him at the hospital. (He fractured a couple ribs, broke a vertebrae, partially deflated a lung, and got a concussion, but seems to be doing well). I think he'll be going home soon.

When the 'rents left I was home alone to think about things. I decided to just go with the flow and not try to change anything about my life. After a little t.v., I got a call from Lemon and we decided to go to the local Sonic. Cherry Limeades are sooo yummy. Then we headed over to frisbee. I caught the disc once, but of course Big Man couldn't catch it and Clark Kent blamed the whole think on me. Oh well. After a few games we just threw the discs back and forth. C.K. (accidentally) kicked me in the nose. But it doesn't hurt unless I think about it. Keegs helped me steal his keys for revenge. Lee brought her exchange student Frenchy, so we taught her how to play. B taught some kids how to throw hammers. And Yellow actually learned how to not be intense all the time. Overall, it was a good frisbee experience. :D

Happy 4th of July!

Today I........
1. Slept in until 12
2. Had an extremely confusing conversation of fb. I still don't understand what was decided.
3. Went to the Forbey's house
4. Learned how to play Texas Hold'em
5. "Accidently" kicked May in the no-no area and sent him to the ground.
6. Had another conversation with someone else that should maybe help me understand the 1st convo
7. Ate some yummy 4th of July food
8. Watched a little Beach Volleyball
9. Brought Tebow over to play with the Forbey's doggies
10. Watched MoJo kick Stace's a** at Texas Hold'em
11. Wished I had been invited to watch fireworks
12. Came home and sat at the computer.
13. Was told to go to bed by Moos, and I didn't listen.
14. Got even more confused


The day was fun, but could have been better.

Happy 233rd bithday America. I hope you're able to live another 233.