Wishing only wounds the heart...
Lately I've found myself caught in a whirlwind of change, some of it is necessary, but some I could have stopped. My friends have all left for college now. They're moving into their dorm rooms, getting ready for class, and meeting new people while I'm stuck here because of stupid private college schedule. I know it's ridiculous to be sad about this since I will be doing the same things in a little over a week, but I can't help but feel abandoned.
And speaking of abandonment and replacement, I've been feeling those lately too. I've tried to put on a happy face and prance around like I don't feel anything. I've taken the punches as they came because hey, we're like Noah and Allie. I tell you when you're being an arrogant s.o.b. and you tell me when I'm being a bipolar pain in the butt. The only thing missing in our little Notebook of a relationship is that you think of me simply as the "best friend you've ever had" nothing more. And I highly doubt you're reading this, but if you are, I'm done pretending. I realize that it's too late for that now, but I'm done faking a smile when you tell me about them. I refuse to be happy for you if I can't at least have a shot at being happy with you. I know it's crazy and it never would have worked, but all I wanted was a chance and it took me way to long to figure that out. And if you really are reading this, you know I'm talking about you. Wrap your arrogant brain around that fact and do something to fix this. I don't know what, but do something fast. Please
I'm sorry guys, but I had to get that out before I exploded and caused some serious damage to me or someone around me.
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