Big Fears

Today is the day I begin to conquer on of my longest lasting fears... public speaking. Ever since I can remember, I've always been a terrible public speaker. When giving presentations, I'll have everything figured out and memorized, but when I get in front of the group, I freeze. I forget everything and I look like a moron. The funny thing is, when I'm teaching this doesn't happen. Senor Husted used to make me teach Spanish class so I could get the experience of being in front of a group of eager learners. I would stand in front of them all block long and go on and on about how to conjugate verbs without a problem. So I'm hoping that if I view my speech class as my students, and my speech as the most important lesson they'll ever learn, I'll be fine. We'll see how that goes though.

Public speaking isn't my only fear. I have other rational and irrational ones ranging from bees to sharks to being alone to car accidents to low flying planes....

Low flying planes is a peculiar one. I'm not, nor have I ever been, afraid to fly. I love flying, not only because it's quicker and more efficient, but because it's fun. But when I'm standing on the ground and a plane flys over my head I have a mini panic attack. Every single time. I think they're coming in too fast, too low, at too wide of an angle. Now I know exactly where this fear originates. Back in elementary school, shortly after 9/11, someone decided it would be a good idea to tell me that the government had found an Al Qaeda list stating planned attacks on the U.S. They then told me that the Space Center was on that list. Now, at that age I wasn't wise enough to be able to tell if this person was joking or not. And that is definitely not something anyone should joke about. To this day, I still haven't been able to shake that fear though. Everyday, I'd drive to THS and take a quick glance across the river, making sure KSC was still there. Everytime a plane flys overhead, I stand still waiting for a crash. I know that Tyco is near my house and chances are, every single one of those planes is scheduled to land there. I know that KSC would be a stupid attack site. But still, it's stuck with me.

The rest of my fears make sense. Bees sting. Sharks bite and have bitten friends of mine. Everyone is afraid of being alone. Car accidents have killed people I love. But I'm hoping to conquer planes and public speaking sometime in the near future.

I really don't know why I shared that with you. I guess I needed to stop thinking about it and write it down.

Things that make me smile:
Late night life chats
Olive Garden dates

Things that irk me:
Awkward moments