AHHHHH

I never understood the meaning of the word "despise" until recently. (Despise- verb- to regard as worthless) Worthless.... it's not the same as hate, it's kind of the opposite. It's indifference. Not caring what happens. Not caring if someone succeeds or fails in life. It's an interesting thing actually. I am, of course, referring to a specific person. I could care less what happens to them. I'm actually leaning to the wanting to see him fail side. I know that's terrible and I shouldn't, but they deserve it. From lying to me, to lying to a friend, to being an overall a** to other friends, they've done enough. I'm done.

What I really need to do is tell them how mad they make me. and how terrible of a person they are. But I know they'll just turn my words around or deny the truth. So I'll just sit and fester. Some day, probably soon, they'll do something to me again and then I'll explode in their face. BOOM! Dead. I couldn't care less.

The end. I had to do that. Sorry.

*Next morning*
It seems that every single day something new comes up that makes me despise this person even more. If I see him when I get home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever, I am going to be really tempted to haul out and hit him. Hard. I guess watching Sod King lay him out in football wasn't enough for me. I need to give him my own dose of pain. I'm actually thinking about taking JP up on his offer to get him tipsy and then invite me over to kick him. Repeatedly. Until he's sober enough to remember. That would sure as anything get my anger out.

Now in all honesty, I would never ever do any of those things to him. I wouldn't mind never having to see him again, but chances of that happening are slim to none. I just hope he realizes how stupid he is and how he can't just turn everything around to be my fault, or her fault, or his fault. Anyone but his own. That's not how it works dude. You can't take my entire summer away from me and then drop it when she comes back from Europa. Doesn't work like that. Put down that bong/joint/whatever they call it now you little liar. "I'll never go back to that." Yes, that's a quote directly from you. Idiot....

I'm at college now, 100 miles away from him, and he still gets into my brain. I think I'll just enlist some help from back home to take out my anger for me. Nothing bad, just enough for him to realize he's a terrible human being.