Anatomy of My Love Life (or lack there of)

Walking to class, to dinner, or even just to get mail I am constantly surrounded by hand holding, giggling, and PDA. When Bee and I are together we look at each other and frown, longingly, for the same reason. We don't understand how people can be "together" already after a week and a half of class. Questions run through our heads... Did they come here together? Did they know each other before? Or were they just lucky enough to find each other? Those sets of questions are followed by a new set .... How did they meet? Where did they meet? When will I find someone like that? This summer I realized that I have changed from the flirtatious teenager I was in high school to a prim and proper Southern Belle. No, I don't ma'am and sir everyone, or speak with a Southern drawl, but I do hold the same ideals as those girls. I'm about as far from a feminist as you'll ever meet. While I didn't come to college for my MRS, I do know that if I happen to meet someone I'll graduate with my BA/BS whatever it is and never use the degree. If I never teach a day in my life, I'll be happy. As long as I have a husband and babies. I don't plan on being one of those mothers that goes back to work (not that there's anything wrong with that at all). I just want to be like my mom and stay at home. Maybe I'll teach half-days at preschool if I have to. But I mean really have to, as in we won't survive if I don't.

Another thing those S.B.'s and I have in common are our ideas on dating. It's the "wait around" method. Like I said, in high school I wasn't like that. I went out and pursued who I wanted. But now, I don't want to do that. It's the Southern Belle way to sit around, looking pretty, and waiting for someone to show interest. Then and only then do you show any kind of interest back. I'm not sure how effective this method is, but it's all I can do now. I've tried the other way, only to get doors slammed in my face, words flipped around, and overall sadness. So now I'm just sitting back and waiting for someone to come. I guess this is kinda what Bar wanted me to do. She'd always laugh at me and ask why I always found at boy at every youth retreat (and thinking back, that's how I distinguish between years of camp...). She'd tell me to sit back and wait. Because God has a plan for me. He has someone picked out for me. And if you don't believe in God, think of it as fate. Or a soulmate. Everyone has one, not everyone marries theirs.

Now, I am well aware of the fact that this plan isn't full proof by any means. I might end up unhappy. But I've been unhappy before and I know that I can get through it. Check back in seven years and see how it went for me. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic who's watched one too many romantic comedies. But I don't think that's what it is. I'll just stick to my Southern ideals and hope and pray that something comes along... Eventually. I'm not rushing anything. I'm only 18. I have a while before a shrivel up and die.